maandag 4 april 2011

Wisdom


Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.  ~Thomas à Kempis, Imitation of Christ, c.1420


You've got a lot of choices.  If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.  ~Steven D. Woodhull


What saves a man is to take a step.  Then another step.  It is always the same step, but you have to take it.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière


Don't wait for the Last Judgment.  It happens every day.  ~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956


Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.  ~Henry David Thoreau


Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!  ~Allison Gappa Bottke


Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall.  Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day.  Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down.  And this is all life really means.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson


If you don't like how things are, change it!  You're not a tree.  ~Jim Rohn


In what you say of another, apply the test of kindness, necessity and truth, and let nothing pass your lips without a 2/3 majority.  ~Liz Armbruster

See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little.  ~Pope John XXIII


Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.  ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros


Though the circular round-and-round of routine be the bulk of life's affairs, make an occasional jutting diversion - of fun, love, or something that will outlast you - so the shape and motion of your life shall resemble the round lifegiving sun with bright rays shining forth from all directions.  ~Terri Guillemets


Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


You will turn over many a futile new leaf till you learn we must all write on scratched-out pages.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning?  ~Coleman Cox


Laziness will cause you pain.  ~Slogan on T-shirt worn at the Vee Arnis Jitsu School of Self-Defense


If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.  ~Toni Morrison


Do not confuse your vested interests with ethics.  Do not identify the enemies of your privilege with the enemies of humanity.  ~Max Lerner, Actions and Passions, 1949


Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.  ~Author Unknown


Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste.  ~Brecht


[O]wning your burdens is half the battle.  ~From the television show Scrubs


Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.  ~Victor Hugo


We have to live today by what truth we can get today and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood.  ~William James


You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.  ~Leo Aikman


Seek freedom and become captive of your desires.  Seek discipline and find your liberty.  ~Frank Herbert, Dune Chronicles


The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile.  ~Plato


Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.  ~Jonathan Kozel


Tough and funny and a little bit kind:  that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.  ~Frances Willard


Always when judging
Who people are,
Remember to footnote
The words "So far."
~Robert Brault


God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.  ~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr


A day is Eternity's seed, and we are its Gardeners.  ~Erika Harris

People cannot go wrong, if you don't let them.  They cannot go right, unless you let them.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


Excess on occasion is exhilirating.  It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.  ~W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 1938


The vow that binds too strictly snaps itself.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson, "The Last Tournament," Idylls of the King


I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.  ~Sara Teasdale, "The Philosopher"


Every one should keep a mental wastepaper basket and the older he grows the more things he will consign to it - torn up to irrecoverable tatters.  ~Samuel Butler


Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  ~Theodore Roosevelt


Whatever we worship, short of God, is sure to be our undoing.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning.  ~Robert Brault


I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about.  But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.  ~Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982


Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.  ~Elbert Hubbard


On the bathing-tub of King T'ang the following words were engraved:  "If you would one day renovate yourself, do so from day to day.  Yea, let there be daily renovation."  ~Confucian Analects


The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.  ~Jimmy Johnson


What a strange narrowness of mind now is that, to think the things we have not known are better than the things we have known.  ~Samuel Johnson


To sensible men, every day is a day of reckoning.  ~John W. Gardner


There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.  ~Tennessee Williams (Thomas Lanier)


Face what you think you believe and you will be surprised.  ~William Hale White


Grown-ups love figures.  When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters.  They never say to you, "What does his voice sound like?  What games does he love best?  Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand:  "How old is he?  How many brothers has he?  How much does he weigh?  How much money does his father make?"  Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince, 1943, translated from French


Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way.  ~ Colonel Potter


Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped.  ~African Proverb


One can enjoy a wood fire worthily only when he warms his thoughts by it as well as his hands and feet.  ~Odell Shepherd

 
The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.  ~Thomas Edison


Aspire to a lower level of harm.  ~Anonymous


I try not to kid myself.  You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous.  ~Bill Veeck


You can't truthfully explain your smallest action without fully revealing your character.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.  ~Mick Jagger


When you lose, don't lose the lesson.  ~Author Unknown


There is often less danger in the things we fear than in the things we desire.  ~John C. Collins


Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.  ~Frank Tyger


Dig the well before you are thirsty.  ~Chinese Proverb


Friends and neighbors complain that taxes are indeed very heavy, and if those laid on by the government were the only ones we had to pay, we might the more easily discharge them; but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us.  We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride, and four times as much by our folly.  ~Benjamin Franklin


Be nice to people on your way up because you'll need them on your way down.  ~W. Migner


When you throw dirt, you lose ground.  ~Texan Proverb


The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.  ~Albert Schweitzer


Everyone should learn to do one thing supremely well because he likes it, and one thing supremely well because he detests it.  ~Brigham Young


Sometimes the only way you can take a really good look at yourself is through somebody else's eyes.  ~From the television show Scrubs


Sometimes the best way to hold onto something is to let it go.  ~Author Unknown


It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time.  ~Author Unknown


The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow.  Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.  ~Author Unknown


For visions come not to polluted eyes.  ~Mary Howitt


Speak what you think to-day in words as hard as cannon-balls and to-tomorrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Remedy it, or welcome it:  a wise man's only two choices.  ~Terri Guillemets


To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.  ~Chinese Proverb


The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you're the easiest person to fool.  ~Richard Feynman


Don't let it be all in your head, nor all in your body.  ~Terri Guillemets


Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.  ~Joaquin de Setanti


God is good, but never dance in a small boat.  ~Irish Saying


It is better to stir up a question without deciding it, than to decide it without stirring it up.  ~Joseph Joubert


Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.  ~Mary Kay Ash


Where you find quality, you will find a craftsman, not a quality-control expert.  ~Robert Brault,


Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.  ~Malcolm S. Forbes



Wisdom

Yoga



Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.  ~B.K.S. Iyengar


The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough.  ~Amy Weintraub


Yoga is the fountain of youth.  You're only as young as your spine is flexible.  ~Bob Harper


You cannot do yoga.  Yoga is your natural state.  What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state.  ~Sharon Gannon


Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it.  Yoga is universal.... But don't approach yoga with a business mind looking for worldly gain.  ~Sri Krishna Pattabhi Jois


By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart.  ~Phillip Moffitt


Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory.  ~Sri Krishna Pattabhi Jois


Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day.  ~Carol Krucoff


For me, yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself.  ~Mary Glover, "Health Profile: Yoga leaves aches and pains behind," Arizona Republic, 6 April 2004 (page E3, article by Connie Midey)


A photographer gets people to pose for him.  A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves.  ~Terri Guillemets


I do yoga so that I can stay flexible enough to kick my own arse if necessary.  ~Betsy Cañas Garmon


The beauty is that people often come here for the stretch, and leave with a lot more.  ~Liza Ciano, co-owner and co-director of Yoga Vermont, yogavermont.com


The last time I opened my chakra so I could feel my peace, I got thrown right out of the pub.  ~Terri Guillemets


Yoga in Mayfair or Fifth Avenue, or in any other place which is on the telephone, is a spiritual fake.  ~Carl Jung


Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.  ~Author Unknown


Vogue and Self are putting out the message of yoginis as buff and perfect.  If you start doing yoga for those reasons, fine.  Most people get beyond that and see that it's much, much more.  ~Patricia Walden


When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied:  "I wish no gifts, only presence."  ~Author Unknown


Yoga is bodily gospel.  ~Reaven Fields


If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me.  It works every time, and not just in yoga.  ~Terri Guillemets


Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity.  This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self-realization.  Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul.  Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions.  ~B.K.S. Iyengar, Astadala Yogamala


Don't just do something - sit there!  ~Author Unknown


I was in yoga the other day.  I was in full lotus position.  My chakras were all aligned.  My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing.  It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence.  "Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2."  ~Ellen DeGeneres


Anyone who practices can obtain success in yoga but not one who is lazy.  Constant practice alone is the secret of success.  ~Svatmarama, Hatha Yoga Pradipika


Yoga is the practice of quieting the mind.  ~Patanjali, translated from Sanskrit


Yoga is the perfect opportunity to be curious about who you are.  ~Jason Crandell, quoted in Yoga Journal, November 2005


Yoga is invigoration in relaxation.  Freedom in routine.  Confidence through self control.  Energy within and energy without.  ~Ymber Delecto


Corpse pose restores life.  Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released.  ~Terri Guillemets


Yoga has a sly, clever way of short-circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety.  ~Baxter Bell, quoted in "Worry Thwarts," Yoga Journal, March 2006


Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight-or-flight mode.  ~Melanie Haiken, about yoga and anxiety, "Worry Thwarts," Yoga Journal, March 2006


Yoga accepts.  Yoga gives.  ~Terri Guillemets


Warrior pose battles inner weakness and wins focus.  You see that there is no war within you.  You're on your own side, and you are your own strength.  ~Terri Guillemets


Mountain pose teaches us, literally, how to stand on our own two feet.... teaching us to root ourselves into the earth.... Our bodies become a connection between heaven and earth.  ~Carol Krucoff


I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.  ~Terri Guillemets


All unimportant matters drop off you in ragdoll pose.  Very few things are genuinely important.  The Truth sways before you.  ~Terri Guillemets


When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God.  When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world.  ~B.K.S. Iyengar


The autonomic nervous system is divided into the sympathetic system, which is often identified with the fight-or-flight response, and the parasympathetic, which is identified with what's been called the relaxation response.  When you do yoga - the deep breathing, the stretching, the movements that release muscle tension, the relaxed focus on being present in your body - you initiate a process that turns the fight-or-flight system off and the relaxation response on.  That has a dramatic effect on the body.  The heartbeat slows, respiration decreases, blood pressure decreases.  The body seizes this chance to turn on the healing mechanisms.  ~Richard Faulds


Tree pose grows confidence.  ~Terri Guillemets


Inhale, and God approaches you.  Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you.  Exhale, and you approach God.  Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.  ~Krishnamacharya


For those wounded by civilization, yoga is the most healing salve.  ~Terri Guillemets


Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down.  ~Terri Guillemets


Basketball is an endurance sport, and you have to learn to control your breath; that's the essence of yoga, too.  So, I consciously began using yoga techniques in my practice and playing.  I think yoga helped reduce the number and severity of injuries I suffered.  As preventative medicine, it's unequaled.  ~Kareem Abdul-Jabbar


Before you've practiced, the theory is useless.  After you've practiced, the theory is obvious.  ~David Williams




Yoga




Woman








If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.  ~Dave Barry


Women like silent men.  They think they're listening.  ~Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956


Sure God created man before woman.  But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.  ~Author Unknown


Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.  ~Marianne Williamson, "A Woman's Worth"


Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.  ~Bill Maher


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.  ~Carrie Snow


You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs.  All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy.  Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.  ~Cindy Crawford


Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.  ~Laurence J. Peter


The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.  ~Author Unknown


A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.  ~Arnold Haultain


Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.  ~Charlotte Whitton


Women are always beautiful.  ~Ville Valo


The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.  ~Ellery Queen


Curve:  The loveliest distance between two points.  ~Mae West


Can you imagine a world without men?  No crime and lots of happy fat women.  ~Nicole Hollander


Women get the last word in every argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.  ~Author Unknown


Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.  ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly


A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.  An optimist is a man who hopes they are.  ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew


The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.  ~Elizabeth Metcalf


There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.  ~Madeleine K. Albright


A man's face is his autobiography.  A woman's face is her work of fiction.  ~Oscar Wilde


There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette.  In fact, I got married once on account of that.  ~Harold Robbins


When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.  ~Author Unknown


Men get laid, but women get screwed.  ~Quentin Crisp


The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.  ~Germaine Greer


Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.  ~Ovid


Howiver, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish:  God Almighty made 'em to match the men.  ~George Eliot, "The Harvest Supper," Adam Bede


Women are like elephants to me.  I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.  ~W.C. Fields


Women really do rule the world.  They just haven't figured it out yet.  When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble.  ~"Doctor Leon," drleons.com


Ah, women.  They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.  ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche


I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.  ~George Meredith


Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.  ~Cornelia Otis Skinner


Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners.  ~George du Maurier


Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.  ~Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton)


The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.  ~Guy de Maupassant


I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.  ~Ogden Nash


When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces.  Women go right on cooking.  ~Gail Sheehy


The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams.  ~Simone de Beauvoir


They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.  ~Author Unknown


Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.
~Matthew Prior


They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation.  ~Oliver Goldsmith


A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women.  ~Edgar Wallace


It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.  ~J.M. Barrie, What Every Woman Knows


If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.  ~Aristotle Onassis


Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet.  ~Brendan Francis


Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

 
I married beneath me - all women do.  ~Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951


Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.  ~Elsa Schiaparelli


Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness.  ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand, Letters to Voltaire


If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.  ~Art Buchwald, 1974


Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.  ~Oscar Wilde


She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.  ~Woody Allen, Getting Even, 1973


It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.  ~Alexandre Dumas, fils


I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four.  ~Fred Allen


When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can.  Whether this happens because they stay so long and attend their work so diligently that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same woman they appeared when they began to dress.  ~Joseph Addison


All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


A woman should soften but not weaken a man.  ~Sigmund Freud


Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.  ~Camille Paglia


When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony.  ~Author Unknown


A woman wears her tears like jewelry.  ~Author Unknown


If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?  Nobody.  ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye


No woman wants to see herself too clearly.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.  ~Bella Abzug


The basic Female body comes with the following accessories:  garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head.  ~Margaret Atwood


Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.  ~Carolyn Kenmore


There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man:  These are the faithful women.  ~Alfred Capus


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.  ~Author Unknown


Physically, a man is a man for a much longer time than a woman is a woman.  ~Honoré de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage


The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart.  ~Author Unknown


Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt.  Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on.  ~Billy Joel


A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.  ~Diana Stürm


In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman.  ~Nancy Astor, My Two Countries


God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you.  ~Mrs Patrick Campbell, in reply to a male acquaintance who asked why women seem to have no sense of humor


Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson


A woman asks little of love:  only that she be able to feel like a heroine.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.  ~Helen Rowland


I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.  ~Stanley Baldwin


I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.  ~George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss


Men look at themselves in mirrors.  Women look for themselves.  ~Elissa Melamed


If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.  ~Compton Mackenzie, Literature in My Time, 1933


One is not born a woman, one becomes one.  ~Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949


Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination.  ~Marcel Proust, Albertine disparue, 1925


Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty.  ~James Thurber, Time, 15 August 1960


Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.  ~Bette Davis, about Jayne Mansfield


A woman's whole life is a history of the affections.  ~Washington Irving


The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man.  ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge


After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one.  And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.  ~Mel Gibson, about what women want


Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular.  ~E.V. Lucas


I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.  ~Benny Hill


A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.  ~Elbert Hubbard


You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.  ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"


The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.  ~Robert Graves


What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.  ~Edward Dahlbert


Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


A woman should be an illusion.  ~Ian Fleming


There are three things men can do with women:  love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.  ~Stephen Stills


It is because of men that women dislike one another.  ~Jean de La Bruyère, Characters, 1688


If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.  ~Thomas Carlyle


Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Women are like dogs really.  They love like dogs, a little insistently.  And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.  ~Mary Roberts Rinehart


It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.  ~Tallulah Bankhead


A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.  ~Karl Kraus


A man chases a woman until she catches him.  ~American Proverb


Variability is one of the virtues of a woman.  It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy.  So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.  ~G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions, 1910


Beauty is the first present Nature gives to women, and the first it takes away.  ~Méré


Brains are an asset, if you hide them.  ~Mae West


With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her.  ~John Vanbrugh, The Relapse, 1696


Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?  ~Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch, 1970


A woman can look both moral and exciting... if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle.  ~Edna Ferber


Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.  ~Germaine Greer


Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.  ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals.  To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.  ~Fran Lebowitz


You're booty-blinded.  You know what that is?  It's like being snow-blinded only it ain't no snow, it's a cute little piece of ass.  ~From the movie I Spy


Women are never landlocked:  they're always mere minutes away from the briny deep of tears.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own.  ~Mike Dobbertin, quoted in A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul


Through sources, we have obtained the following alien assessment of the human species:  The male wants to be valued for what he pretends to be.  The female wants to be overvalued for what she truly is.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention.  ~Cornelia Otis Skinner, attributed


Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.  ~Samuel Johnson


Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal.  ~William Shakespeare


Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.  ~James Thurber


I hate women because they always know where things are.  ~Voltaire


Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.  ~Hermione Gingold


The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists.  They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men.  That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.  ~Anita Loos, New York Times, 10 February 1974


Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.  ~Author Unknown


No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.  ~H.L. Mencken



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Perfection






Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.
~Harriet Braiker


Certain flaws are necessary for the whole.  It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. 

~Goethe


No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. 

~Author Unknown


Nothing that is complete breathes.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.  ~John Henry Newman


Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen


To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. 

~Elbert Hubbard


Only in grammar can you be more than perfect. 

~William Safire


Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing.  ~From the television show Ally McBeal


Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.  

~Henry van Dyke


Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands.  But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny.  ~Carl Schurz, address, Faneuil Hall, Boston, 1859


Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect.  

~Chinese Proverb


Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. 

~Confucius, Analects


The most difficult part of attaining perfection is finding something to do for an encore.  ~Author Unknown


When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target.  ~George Fisher


Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence.  ~Rosalynn Carter


There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions.

  ~Pen Densham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves


The imperfections of a man, his frailties, his faults, are just as important as his virtues.  You can't separate them.  They're wedded.  ~Henry Miller


Does "anal-retentive" have a hyphen? 

~Alison Bechdel, 1990 Dykes to Watch Out For calendar  (Thanks, Chelsea)


The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four.  Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.  

~Winston Churchill


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.  ~Stanley J. Randall


They say that nobody is perfect.  Then they tell you practice makes perfect.  I wish they'd make up their minds.

  ~Wilt Chamberlain
 
Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


He who hath not a dram of folly in his mixture hath pounds of much worse matter in his composition.  

~Charles Lamb


Even the best needles are not sharp at both ends. 

~Chinese Proverb


The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light.  ~Matthew Arnold


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over.  Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. 

~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Player Piano


Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. 

~Hugh Prather


Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. 

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


Striving to better, oft we mar what's well. 

~William Shakespeare, King Lear, 1605


Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. 

~Salvador Dali


All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection.

  ~William Faulkner


A good garden may have some weeds. 

~Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732


I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being. 

~Anatole France (Jacques Anatole François Thibault), The Garden of Epicurus, 1894


Congratulations!  You're not perfect!  It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.  But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people.  You know what perfect is?  Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake.  Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all.  Perfect is boring!  So you're not perfect!  Wonderful!  Have fun!  Eat things that give you bad breath!  Trip over your own shoelaces!  Laugh!  Let somebody else laugh at you!  Perfect people never do any of those things.  All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are.  But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway.  You should see them when they get the hiccups!  Phooey!  Who needs 'em?  You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person.  Good people are hard to find nowadays.  And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.  ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!


He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless. 

~Italian Proverb


You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.

  ~Martha Graham


One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort.  A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.

  ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club


When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick.

  ~Bill Lemley


Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

  ~Ed Howe


Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness.  We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. 

~Samuel McChord Crothers

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Relationships



Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need.  ~Margaret Mead


Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.  ~Swedish Proverb


Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.  ~Emily Kimbrough



There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox


Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life
, 1859



If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?  ~Stephen Levine


Don't smother each other.  No one can grow in the shade.  ~Leo Buscaglia


Sometimes it is the person closest to us who must travel the furthest distance to be our friend.  ~Robert Brault,


Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~Phyllis McGinley, "Ballade of Lost Objects," 1954


Assumptions are the termites of relationships.  ~Henry Winkler


I like her because she smiles at me and means it.  ~Anonymous


Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.  ~Miles Franklin



In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely.  ~Robert Brault,


You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.  ~Frederick Buechner



Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.  ~Anonymous


Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  "Pooh!" he whispered.  "Yes, Piglet?"  "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.  "I just wanted to be sure of you."  ~A.A. Milne


I felt it shelter to speak to you.  ~Emily Dickinson



Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore



Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.  ~Dinah Shore



Lust is easy.  Love is hard.  Like is most important.  ~Carl Reiner
 
Basically, the only thing we need is a hand that rests on our own, that wishes it well, that sometimes guides us.  ~Hector Bianciotti, Sans La Misericorde du Christ


Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust


When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.  ~Robert Brault,

To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.  ~Doménico Cieri Estrada


Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  ~Flavia Weedn, Forever,


No road is long with good company.  ~Turkish Proverb


If fame were based on kindness instead of popularity, on understanding and not on worldwide attention, you would be the biggest celebrity on earth.  And to my heart, you already are.  ~Anonymous


Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.  ~Oprah Winfrey


Good company upon the road is the shortest cut.  ~Author Unknown


There are times when two people need to step apart from one another, but there is no rule that says they have to turn and fire.  ~Robert Brault


Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.  ~Author Unknown


People change and forget to tell each other.  ~Lillian Hellman


In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other.  ~Linda Ellerbee, Move On: Adventures in the Real World


Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.  ~Mary Tyler Moore


Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.  ~Rainer Maria Rilke


You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.  ~Wayne W. Dyer


We are, many of us, a planet orbiting somebody's sun, unconscious of a lonely moon, orbiting our planet.  ~Robert Brault

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.  ~From the movie Annie

Self Respect


In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.  ~Jane Haddam


Self-respect is the fruit of discipline...  ~Abraham J. Heschel


He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.  ~Cyril Connolly


The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs.  ~Joan Didion


I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.  ~Frederick Douglass


A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself.  ~Axel Munthe


To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.  ~Joan Didion


Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.  ~Marcus Aurelius


Respect your efforts, respect yourself.  Self-respect leads to self-discipline.  When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.  ~Clint Eastwood


They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.  ~Mahatma Gandhi


Self-respect cannot be hunted.  It cannot be purchased.  It is never for sale.  It cannot be fabricated out of public relations.  It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when e suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it.  ~Whitney Griswold


If I despised myself, it would be no compensation if everyone saluted me, and if I respect myself, it does not trouble me if others hold me lightly.  ~Max Nordau


Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect.  ~Theodore Parker


No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.  ~George Bernard Shaw


Self-respect is the cornerstone of all virtue.  ~John Herschel


That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.  ~William J.H. Boetcker


I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself.  I will be rich by myself, and not by borrowing.  ~Michel de Montaigne


Self-respect permeates every aspect of your life.  ~Joe Clark


If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself.  Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.  ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky


Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves.  ~Peter McArthur


I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes.  What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself.  To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.  ~Laurence Sterne


You punch me, I punch back.  I do not believe it's good for ones self-respect to be a punching bag.  ~Edward Koch


Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough.  Good enough.  Successful enough.  Thin enough.  Rich enough.  Socially responsible enough.  When you have self-respect, you have enough.  ~Gail Sheehy


Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to, but be respected - that is essential.  ~Anna Gould


Self-respect knows no considerations.  ~Mahatma Gandhi


In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.  ~Robert Byrne


The individual woman is required... a thousand times a day to choose either to accept her appointed role and thereby rescue her good disposition out of the wreckage of her self-respect, or else follow an independent line of behavior and rescue her self-respect out of the wreckage of her good disposition.  ~Jeannette Rankin


Respect yourself and others will respect you.  ~Confucius


A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else.  ~Cardinal De Retz


Respecting yourself means listening to your body and emotions continuously.  Then acting beyond a linear logic to achieve ones goals.  ~Author Unknown


Self-respect is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has a price.  ~Author Unknown


If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.  ~Maya Angelou


It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them.  To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.  ~Dale E. Turner



.

Sisters


Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of.  You know whatever you do, they'll still be there.  ~Amy Li


A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.  ~Marion C. Garretty


Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister.  ~Alice Walker


Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.  ~Charles M. Schulz


If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.  ~Linda Sunshine


You can kid the world.  But not your sister.  ~Charlotte Gray


I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness.  ~Emily Dickinson


Help one another, is part of the religion of sisterhood.  ~Louisa May Alcott


Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.  ~Pam Brown


In thee my soul shall own combined the sister and the friend.  ~Catherine Killigrew


Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet.  ~Vietnamese Proverb


A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison


Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply...  ~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814


What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it?  ~Jenny DeVries


Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.  ~Margaret Mead


Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart - oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape - of your sister.  ~Katherine Mansfield


A sister smiles when one tells one's stories - for she knows where the decoration has been added.  ~Chris Montaigne


More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.  ~Linda Sunshine


If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this:  "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma."  ~Linda Sunshine


My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time.  ~Linda Sunshine


I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends.  ~James Boswell


How do people make it through life without a sister?  ~Sara Corpening


If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater.  ~Pam Brown


Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.  ~Author Unknown


There can be no situation in life in which the conversation of my dear sister will not administer some comfort to me.  ~Mary Montagu


I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.  ~Author unknown, attributed to a 4-year-old named Lauren


In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips.  ~Author Unknown


When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?  ~Pam Brown


The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble.  ~Clara Ortega


A sister is a forever friend.  ~Author Unknown


I know some sisters who only see each other on Mother's Day and some who will never speak again.  But most are like my sister and me... linked by volatile love, best friends who make other best friends ever so slightly less best.  ~Patricia Volk

 
Sisterly love is, of all sentiments, the most abstract.  Nature does not grant it any functions.  ~Ugo Betti


Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.  ~Carol Saline


Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow.  ~Benjamin Disraeli


When mom and dad don't understand, a sister always will.  ~Author Unknown


Elder sisters never can do younger ones justice!  ~Charlotte M. Yonge


A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.  ~Isadora James


To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other's hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time.  ~Clara Ortega


The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend.  ~Cali Rae Turner


An older sister helps one remain half child, half woman.  ~Author Unknown


An older sister is a friend and defender - a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights.  And sorrows too.  ~Pam Brown


There is no better friend than a sister.  And there is no better sister than you.  ~Author Unknown


Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.  ~Susan Scarf Merrell


I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers.  It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage.  Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.  ~Maya Angelou


A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self.  ~Marian Sandmaier


Our roots say we're sisters, our hearts say we're friends.  ~Author Unknown


Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.  ~Jane Mersky Leder


Our siblings.  They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long.  ~Susan Scarf Merrell


Sibling relationships - and 80 percent of Americans have at least one - outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship.  They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.  ~Erica E. Goode, "The Secret World of Siblings," U.S. News & World Report, 10 January 1994


Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite often the hard way.  ~Pamela Dugdale


Sisters share the scent and smells - the feel of a common childhood.  ~Pam Brown


A sister shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams.  ~Author Unknown


Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize.  Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks.  Borrow.  Break.  Monopolize the bathroom.  Are always underfoot.  But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there.  Defending you against all comers.  ~Pam Brown


Between sisters, often, the child's cry never dies down.  "Never leave me," it says; "do not abandon me."  ~Louise Bernikow


It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on!  ~Author Unknown


Sisterhood is powerful.  ~Robin Morgan


Sisters don't need words.  They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief.  Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling.  ~Pam Brown


One of the best things about being an adult is the realization that you can share with your sister and still have plenty for yourself.  ~Betsy Cohen


We know one another's faults, virtues, catastrophes, mortifications, triumphs, rivalries, desires, and how long we can each hang by our hands to a bar.  We have been banded together under pack codes and tribal laws.  ~Rose Macaulay


Sisters may share the same mother and father but appear to come from different families.  ~Author Unknown


Sister to sister we will always be,
A couple of nuts off the family tree.
~Author Unknown


We acquire friends and we make enemies, but our sisters come with the territory.  ~Evelyn Loeb


Sisters are blossoms in the garden of life.  ~Author Unknown


We may look old and wise to the outside world.  But to each other, we are still in junior school.  ~Charlotte Gray


Whatever you do they will love you; even if they don't love you they are connected to you till you die.  You can be boring and tedious with sisters, whereas you have to put on a good face with friends.  ~Deborah Moggach


You keep your past by having sisters.  As you get older, they're the only ones who don't get bored if you talk about your memories.  ~Deborah Moggach


It's hard to be responsible, adult and sensible all the time.  How good it is to have a sister whose heart is as young as your own.  ~Pam Brown


Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer.  ~Louise Glück


She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.  ~Barbara Alpert

Sex




Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988


The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.  ~William B. Yeats


Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.  ~Author Unknown


Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.  ~Author Unknown


Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.  ~Woody Allen


Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.  ~Woody Allen


For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.  ~Jay Leno


Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the answer.  ~Swami X


Men get laid, but women get screwed.  ~Quentin Crisp


It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance.  ~Elizabeth Taylor


When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.  ~Author Unknown


A dirty book is rarely dusty.  ~Author Unknown


Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich


When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.  ~Author Unknown


Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:  One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.  The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.  ~Butch Hancock


To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader


The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.  ~William H. Masters


There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered:  entertainment, food, and affection.  It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection.  As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.  When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating.  Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.  ~Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour


No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln


My reaction to porn films is as follows:  After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw.  After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.  ~Erica Jong, Playboy Magazine, September 1975


Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.  ~Mark Twain, Notebooks, 1935


What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh.  ~Henry Fielding


Sex is God's joke on human beings.  ~Bette Davis


Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.  ~Woody Allen


Against diseases here the strongest fence
Is the defensive vertue, Abstinence.
~Robert Herrick, "Abstinence"


Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull.  It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all.  Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.  ~Henry Louis Mencken


AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences:  suicide.  Or murder.  ~Susan Sontag


There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex.  People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.  ~Elton John


There's nothing better than good sex.  But bad sex?  A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.  ~Billy Joel


The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget.  ~William Osler


The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.  ~Truman Capote


Sex relieves tension - love causes it.  ~Woody Allen


If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.  ~Louise Sammons


Men wake up aroused in the morning.  We can't help it.  We just wake up and we want you.  And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?"  It's because we can't see you.  We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.  ~Andy Rooney


I think I could fall madly in bed with you.  ~Author Unknown


Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.  ~Groucho Marx


Sex is emotion in motion.  ~Mae West


Love's mysteries in souls do grow,
But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne, Extasy


Why should we take advice on sex from the pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!  ~George Bernard Shaw


I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.  ~John Waters


For women the best aphrodisiacs are words.  The G-spot is in the ears.  He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.  ~Isabel Allende


Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.  ~Woody Allen


Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.  ~Woody Allen

 

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.  ~David Lodge, The British Museum Is Falling Down, 1965



Masturbation:  the primary sexual activity of mankind.  In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.  ~Thomas Szasz


We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.  ~Lily Tomlin


An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.  ~Aldous Huxley


The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less.  ~Brendan Francis, Playboy, 1985



The art of procreation and the members employed therein are so repulsive, that if it were not for the beauty of the faces and the adornments of the actors and the pent-up impulse, nature would lose the human species.  ~Leonardo da Vinci


I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.  ~Zsa Zsa Gabor



Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook
, 1960



The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions.  The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.  ~Unknown psychology professor in neuropsychology course


Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.  ~George Burns


It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.  ~Marge Piercy


Sudden acquaintance brings repentance.  ~Thomas Fuller



A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.  The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.  The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."  ~Author Unknown


Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics.  ~Author Unknown


Sex got me into trouble from the age of fifteen:  I'm hoping that by the time I'm seventy I'll straighten it out.  ~Harold Robbins



Nymphomaniac:  a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity.  With our education system?  If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or science, they've got nothing to worry about.  ~Beverly Mickins



Nature abhors a virgin - a frozen asset.  ~Clare Booth Luce



A widespread taste for pornography means that nature is alerting us to some threat of extinction.  ~J.G. Ballard, "News from the Sun," Myths of the Near Future, 1982


You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.  ~W. Somerset Maugham, The Bread-Winner


Sex:  the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.  ~John Barrymore


It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.  ~Chinese Proverb


Chastity:  The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.  ~Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza
, 1936



Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.  ~Author Unknown


The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.  ~Author Unknown



Out upon it, I have lov'd
Three whole days together;
And am like to love three more,
If it prove fair weather.
~John Suckling


Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.  ~Harlan Ellison


Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player.  It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.  ~Casey Stengel


Sex:  the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.  ~Lord Chesterfield


Virginity can be lost by a thought.  ~St. Jerome



The tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where it belongs.  ~D.H. Lawrence


Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen.  Women reach theirs at thirty-five.  Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?  ~Rita Rudner



Pornography is supposed to arouse sexual desires.  If pornography is a crime, when will they arrest makers of perfume?  ~Richard Fleischer



Sex is the great amateur art.  The professional, male or female, is frowned on:  he or she misses the point, and spoils the show.  ~David Cort



The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water:  not before or after, but instead.  ~Author Unknown



Instruction in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not only are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never warned that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons so incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure living together for a week much less a lifetime.  ~George Bernard Shaw, Everybody's Political What's What, 1944



Were kisses all the joys in bed,
One woman would another wed.
~William Shakespeare, Sonnets to Sundry Notes of Music, IV


Having sex is like playing bridge.  If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.  ~Woody Allen


Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?  ~From the television show The Golden Girls



Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply:  lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.  ~Author Unknown


The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery.  Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay.  ~Martin Luther



When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky.  A woman already knows.  ~Frederike Ryder


My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.  ~Bob Hope


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?  ~Murray Banks


Anticipation makes the hard-on longer.  ~Itsby Stevintary


I once knew a woman who offered her honor
So I honored her offer
And all night long I was on her and off her.
~Author Unknown


Those who have prophesied dreadful consequences as a result of the greater sexual freedom which the young assert - unwanted babies, venereal disease and so on - are usually the very same people who seek the fulfillment of their prophecies by opposing the free availability to the young of contraception and the removal of the stigma and mystification that surround venereal disease.  ~Colin Ward, Anarchy in Action



Be naughty - save Santa a trip.  ~Author Unknown


An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.  ~Author Unknown


Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.  ~Jayne Mansfield



I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.  ~Gore Vidal


Hornover:  what one wakes up with the morning after a night of getting too horny without release.  ~Sommeil Liberosensa


The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.  ~Author Unknown


Kinky is using a feather.  Perverted is using the whole chicken.  ~Author Unknown


I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.  ~Jay McInerney



I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.  ~Author Unknown


A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex.  He replied frankly:  "Because everything does."  ~Honor Tracy



How lucky we are that we can reach our genitals instead of that spot on our back that itches.  ~Flash Rosenberg



The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.  ~Gloria Leonard


Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old.  Malcolm Muggeridge, on pornography, Tread Softly For You Tread On My Jokes, 1966


Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important.  I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion.  A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.  ~Charles Bukowski, Notes on a Dirty Old Man


When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned.  Do not have sex with the authorities.  ~Matt Groening



There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.  Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.  ~P.J. O'Rourke


I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.  ~J. Edgar Hoover, attributed



Pornography is the attempt to insult sex, to do dirt on it.  ~D.H. Lawrence


I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.  ~Author Unknown


Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.  ~S.J. Perelman


It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses.  ~Mrs. Patrick Campbell


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.  ~Karl Kraus


Never let the little head do the thinking for the big head.  ~Author unknown, advice to teenage boys, quoted in Friendly Advice compiled by Jon Winokur


Our love could change the orbit of the earth.  So, if a meteor ever comes hurtling towards earth with the guarantee of destruction, top scientists may call on us to, well, you know, do it like crazy for the sake of humankind.  ~Author Unknown


Nothing risqué, nothing gained.  ~Alexander Woollcott



My cock doesn't talk politics.  ~Stephal Sachs


To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent.  She can't wait to disprove it.  ~Cary Grant


Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.  ~Dorothy Parker


My message to businessmen of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife. 
 
~Edwina Currie, quoted in The Observer, 15 February 1987



[T]he common thread that binds nearly all animal species seems to be that males are willing to abandon all sense and decorum, even to risk their lives, in the frantic quest for sex.  ~Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer, A Natural History of Rape


Now, if groups like Moral Majority have their way, there won't be any sex education at school, and our kids will be the dumbest in the world when it comes to sex.... But our parents are sexually retarded too.... Fear and primitive morals are creating a sexual pressure-cooker in this country and soon the top will blow.... Only in the U.S. do we find children drawing a picture of a baby coming from the clouds or from under a cabbage leaf. 
 
~Floyd Martinson




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